The Disease

4 min readApr 9, 2021


The disease has been creeping up

It has always been here, in the background

Let it all be

The disease to be trapped in our desires

  • the desires for greed
  • the desires for gratification of the symbolic self: the feeling of gratifying the ego, the psychological gratification
  • the desires for learning
  • the desires for getting to somewhere, becoming somebody special
  • the desires for sexual gratification, sensual gratification
  • the desires for progression
  • the desires to not be truthful with one’s own position of where he or she is at mentally and spiritually

The constant anxiety and tension to think and to be within the thinking mind. To be almost totally identified with the mind. To completely forget the part of us that is beyond name and form, time and space

  • To think about what could have happened
  • To think about if we have made the right move, the right decision
  • To constantly justify our own actions, making ourselves believe that our decisions, our moves, would eventually turn out to be correct

Our desires of getting somewhere. Our desires of getting better. Our desires of becoming free of the mind. Our desires of making money because we can have proof to others about our achievement in financial terms

Look how good I am as this, that, etc. Look how good I am at what I do. For the degree of success seems to be measured in money, financial terms

  • This is leading us to countless unnecessary stress, anxiety, and mental and emotional stress
  • Because the desires for success, for greed, for power, for respect, will never be satisfied
  • No matter how good a trade or an outcome went; it could have always gone better
  • We can always make a better move, when we analyze ourselves and the results from hindsight
  • Very rarely do wee pat ourselves on the back, saying well done
  • The trouble of anxiety, stress, and insomniac, the constant checking, the constant going over of plans, costs more than the psychological or financial gratification and growth

The underlying emptiness still persists no matter how well or how bad a trade has went. No matter how good or bad our life situations have become

  • The feeling of bliss is short-lived
  • The anxiety quickly comes back when we are trapped with more to do, more to achieve, more to collect, more to experience, more to get better

I hate to sound pessimistic and negative, but I cannot seem to escape the emptiness

  • The feeling of nothing will be enough. That any gratification, any outcomes, would not fulfill the thirst, the desire of the mind
  • That it is just as difficult to be content than to act like everything is fine and going well

Because of the feeling of emptiness, we often seek an escape chemically. To override the system. To “tune in” with the harmony of the universe for a day, for a few hours

  • To extricate ourselves, as best as we can, from the thinking mind
  • To not identify ourself as a first, second, and third, Chakra being
  • To “reward” ourself and to be in the state of ecstasy and bliss because we have done “good”, we have done what was needed, what was required, what we were “supposed to” do

The best move is to stay present

  • To be here now
  • To not be trapped in the mind, but to feel and act with the heart
  • To serve, not in the ego-sense. Just serve
  • To perform the fruits of the actions for Krishna
  • We did what we did for Krishna, we stop doing what we do also for Krishna. We start to do something else for Krishna

Can one be so one-pointed, that he or she is not distracted back into the thinking mind, to be trapped in “what I will have to do next”, “what I will need to do today”

  • And do methods of Yoga all day long
  • To quiet down within, to keep our center
  • To not be distracted into gain or loss
  • To not chase the fruits of the actions
  • To not be identified with our desires
  • To simply let go of our models, and let everything be

The highs, the lows, the gains, the loss, the feeling of bliss, the feeling of emptiness are all part of the process of coming to God, they are all a part of something greater, something higher.

  • Everything we do and experience is a process of becoming conscious
  • There is no error in what we do, how we feel, and what we experience
  • Everything is there and everything happens the way it happens for a very specific purpose. That is to come to the light. To awaken out of our dreams
  • Life is a series of exercises for awakening. The highs and the lows are both part of them

We can only be free when we are not chasing the fruits of the actions

  • The goal isn’t to become high, to achieve wisdom, to collect, etc
  • The goal is to be free
  • To be free from the thinking mind
  • To be free from our attachments of our desires




Growth is very much like the snake shedding off its skin. You can’t rip the skin off the snake 👁